Has anyone bothered to see how the Mayans are acting with such impending doom harbouring over us?? Are there Mayans still?? Are there Mayans moving?? Haha see what I did there.. Whatever.. You'll probably get it with a few minutes left to live..
The main reason we should all realize the world is truly coming to an end is that this will be the first time in 40 years that Dick Clark will not drop the ball and ring in the new year... If that isn't enough to make you run over to your neighbours bunker and start Y2K'ing his stash of canned goods and Twinkees, I don't know what is!!!
Another reason we should second guess all these positive people who think Dec 22nd will roll into town... If the world doesn't end right away, the Youth of America will eventually vote in Pauly D as President of the United States.. The Situation will be Governor of GTL and Vinnie will be Vice President who's only job will be to stand beside Pauly and laugh at all his jokes.. AWKWARD!!!! Don't worry if you don't get that, it may just be a reason I am looking towards the end of the world...
A world where Bieber and Manaj are considered cutting edge musicians.. A world where if you're a teenager and pregnant you get handed an MTV contract before adoption information... A world where "real housewives" are considered Best Selling Authors and musicians.. A world where .... Wait.. Is this getting too political?? Glass number eight brings on too much seriousness...
So lets summarize what we have learnt so far... Dicks dead.. Pop culture sucks..
Pauly <3 Vinnie... Glittery vampires are the worst thing to be introduced to the public since that backwards visor wearing trend.. Seriously bring em out behind the barn!!
Lost my train of thought.. Train.. Crazy Train.. Ozzy.. That guy rocked on Survivor.. I mean seriously.. Aquaman or what.. Didn't see me going there did you.. Is anyone actually reading this??
Anyway lets get onto the heart of the matter, something that may come as a shock to some.. Some of you may already know this so try not to spoil the ending, Okay!! It happened about 11 years ago?? No seriously is that right, someone correct me if I am wrong.. 11 years ago a horrible horrible thing happened and I don't think I will ever ever be the same... It was up on a slippery snow covered roof that a fat jolly old man met his maker.. Some reports say Rudolph pushed him.. Some say a few stow away elves pushed him.. Some say he lives in Florida with Elvis and they run a chicken and waffles restaurant where you get 5% off on Tuesday if you clip their coupon.. But what I am saying is.. What am I saying. Bettman SUCKs!!
No wait.. Some say Grandma got her revenge one crisp night... Some say poisoned milk left by naughty Jimmy.. But ALL must know that Santa is a Dead.. Dead.. dEaD Man!!!! And no one is to even breath a word or syllable of that fat dead man to a certain group of 3 children who will remain nameless under the witness protection program.. But if you must say something.. Oh H.. E.. Double Hell Sticks!!! Lost my train of thought agin..
Hey Dick is Dead.. Santa is Dead.. Elvis is Dead... Did you know that Santa spelt backwards isnt even a word...
Time a wasting.. What do you want to do with your last few hours besides read this agin because you can't believe you even read it the first time!!!! Hahahahahahaha
If we make it to New Years... Lets Blow Something Up!!!!!
